“My life is so much better now.”

Since my husband’s leukemia diagnosis and journey back to wholeness we have had the pleasure of meeting many people who also have similar stories. It’s kind of like when you buy a new car and then that’s the make and model that you see all over when you’re driving around. Ever since cancer became an unwelcome part of our lives, now we’re somehow cancer patient magnets. There is burden and blessing in this fact. The burden comes when our hearts feel like they’re going to break wide open when we see our new friends suffering and battling against this terrible disease. This burden is too great and one we take straight to the Lord on their behalf. The blessing comes as they recover and start becoming a blessing to others. This past week I had the pleasure of talking to two of these special warriors and each of them have told me that their lives are so much better now than before cancer. They’ve both expressed the level of enjoyment that they feel every day trumps anything that they experienced before they got sick. I’ve also heard my husband express this as well. Is it weird that I’m a tiny bit jealous? I’m not jealous of the arduous journeys they’ve been taken on but to see the sparkle in their eyes and the excitement in their voices as they talk about their new lives makes me feel tipsy. Here are the three cancer stories in a nutshell: my husband was told he had two weeks to live without immediate treatment when he got diagnosed. He was whisked off to the hospital for chemotherapy, months and months of intense chemo in fact. After many setbacks such as kidney problems, leukemia spreading to his brain, neurological impairments, total body radiation and a bone marrow transplant not to mention a grueling and long recovery he is now back to a new “normal.” One of the friends also got leukemia and was rushed to the hospital for nine months of intense chemotherapy until a match was found so that he could get a bone marrow transplant and start his recovery, just to find out that the after effects of the transplant were almost as bad as the initial disease almost five years later! The third case was a brain tumor in such an impossible location of the brain of a pilot that only one surgeon in the country would even attempt to remove it. To say these three went through hell is a complete understatement. My two new friends along with my husband have all taken their calamities and have begun to share their newfound stories of hope with everyone they see. The pilot is now back to flying and has started writing about his story to share hope with others and has a closer relationship with God and a new zeal for life. The friend with leukemia has a book of inspiring poems that he says God gave him all the many sleepless nights while in the hospital. They both shed a few tears while telling me about it. My husband tells everyone he meets (even the Home Depot employee and grocery clerk) about his inspiring journey of faith, hope, love, joy and indescribable gratitude. So yes I am a little jealous. I’m jealous that when the three of them wake up every morning they are bubbling over with joy and gratitude and I’m dragging my tired buns out of bed. It is contagious however and I’m deeply grateful and humbled to be a tiny part of this beautiful journey.